


March Madness

by rachelvanbora



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 16:03:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6476800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachelvanbora/pseuds/rachelvanbora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompts from MJN March Merriment on tumblr. If interested, check out the "MJN March" tag: there´s plenty of good stuff by very talented Cabin Pressure fans  :-)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rhyming Journies

Martin: From Portland to Cleveland.  
Arthur: Yes! Via Finland.  
Martin: I´m not sure that counts, Arthur. Does it count Douglas?  
Carolyn: Of course it does.  
Arthur: Really? Because I know lots of those. England, Greenland, Iceland, Ireland…  
Douglas: I´m quite sure there was a difference between a country and an airport. Now let me think what that was…  
Arthur: …Scotland, Switzerland, Swedenland…  
Martin: Swedenland?  
Arthur: Yes! You can have Vikingland, Skip. What a great game, Douglas.  
Douglas: (exasperated) Carolyn.  
Carolyn: Don´t like being beaten at your own game?  
Douglas: It´s not my game, it´s his!  
Martin: Yes, and it´s called Just add “land” to anything.  
Arthur: Chaps, this one will count as two! Falkland Island!  
Carolyn: Plausible and creative.  
Douglas: Oh, don´t encourage him. He stretched the rules so thin, they´re practically invisible.  
Carolyn: You should be proud, then. He learned from the best.


	2. Arch Enemies

I put the safe, rules-hugging pilot in charge.  
He is calm as a capsized duck.  
The good pilot likes to think large.  
And always relies on luck.  
Naturally, there´s a fair share of fights.  
And yet, the Gods do smile upon me.  
By all rights,   
they should have been arch enemies.


	3. Limerick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was Limerick, so, if you don´t like the form, skip this chapter. The last two ones weren´t really part of the March Merriment, but since they are Limericks...

LIMERICK  
The mission gave them no reason to preen.  
Still, it took only Twenty Questions to glean  
the truth about the box  
sad, if orthodox -  
They were not working for the horse Frankenstein.

D.R.  
There are many tricks in his repertoire  
He can turn apple juice into booze in any bar  
Once marathon- now an-undercover-family-man  
Undeterred by the reduced wingspan  
And yes, always playing yellow car.

LIMERICK

Po pravici Krasnomajskij, po ľavici Vyšný Voloček  
Leteli nad Ruskom, ale mohlo to byť kdekoľvek  
Martin nevedel prísť zloduchovi na meno  
Arthur neuhádol skoro žiadne písmeno  
A trvalo to takmer dlhšie ako ľudský vek.

A

To find out why a plane stays in the air was his fondest wish  
He dived into the dilemma of correct dosage of quiche  
His achievements were many and proud  
But he never could find out  
what really made the cabin smell of fish.


	4. Back to Timbuctoo

Martin: It was a real binge, Douglas!  
Douglas: (worried) Tell me.  
Martin: She made me watch all three seasons practically non-stop. I don´t get it.  
Douglas: (bored) Well, the pace is rather fast.  
Martin: I don´t get the fascination. Did you see the bit about cell phones? If that was true at least 50% of the population would have to be alcoholics.  
Douglas: Hm.  
Martin: The show has plotholes. Not to mention the utter disregard for competent authorities.  
Douglas: The tune is rather good, though.  
Martin: And now this scarf.  
Carolyn: Yes, an obvious gift from Theresa. Stylish, expensive, evocative…  
Martin: Great. Everyone´s Sherlock now.  
(Theresa enters)  
Martin: Theresa! Hi-Hello-uhm-  
Carolyn: We were just admiring Martin´s new scarf.  
Theresa: I couldn´t resist. Thought he´d appreciate the reference.  
Martin: To an overrated BBC show?  
Theresa: To Saint-Exupéry.  
Martin: Oh.  
Douglas: (sotto voce) That´s what I call a perfect save.  
Arthur: But mum! Little Prince has a yellow scarf. Skip´s new scarf isn´t yellow. It´s blue. Like Sherlock´s.  
Carolyn (to Douglas): What did you say back in Timbuctoo? About Arthur´s knowledge and erudition?  
Douglas: She knows how to handle him. I bet you five quid she´ll pull through.  
Carolyn: Five quid? Not very confident, are we?  
Douglas: I was being charitable. Make it a bottle of Talisker, for all I care.  
Carolyn: You´re on, Reckless Richardson.  
Theresa: Yellow would crash with your hair horribly… my prince.  
Martin: Theresa!  
Douglas: Easiest bottle of Talisker I ever won.


	5. Question and Answer: the Double Bill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (An alternative scene from Xinzhou. The APU is alive and kicking, but MJN didn´t manage to leave before dusk. Their budget is enough for one double room: it now shelters all four of them.)

Carolyn: I´ve got another one: _Guess who´s coming to dinner? Tootsie_.

Douglas: Of course. Sidney or Dustin?

Arthur: Ah, Douglas, we´re in Xinzhou. And I am pretty sure that other city is pronounced Austin.

Martin:            Are we playing random cities now? You know how much I hate it when you change the game – midgame.

Douglas: Primo: I only change games after you´ve lost one, Secundo: I was merely trying to ascertain Carolyn´s preferences.  Sidney Poitier or Dustin Hoffman?

Arthur: Sidney who?

Carolyn: No, dear heart, that doesn´t work. Maybe if you´ve said: _Doctor Who. House, M.D_. we would have let that pass, but alas…

Douglas: No, we would have not. The Game is called _Question and Answer – **Film** Double Bills_.

Martin: The problem is, not many films have a question in their title. Which gives you an unfair advantage.

Carolyn: All Douglas´ games give him an unfair advantage, have you not noticed until now?

Martin: But you have the same advantage, Carolyn. Just because you´re -

Douglas: Yes?

Martin: -er, not hugely, just a little bit, a tiny bit more advanced, years-wise, more-

Carolyn: Yes?

Martin: - senior- you know what I mean, Carolyn.

Carolyn: Astonishingly, I do. But I haven´t seen you fidget so badly in months. Something´s wrong?

Martin: Everything´s fine. More than that. Downright splendid.

Douglas: One, two, three-

Martin: Theresa wants me to come over for dinner.

Carolyn: To Vaduz? Nice.

Martin: Yes, very. I´m even going to meet her parents. In the ballroom. Or, possibly, the dungeon. How about we split the game? You guys do the first half and me and Arthur the second.

Douglas: As you wish. _Shall we dance?_

 Martin: _There will be blood_.

Arthur: (overlapping) _Ghostbusters_!

Martin: _Ghostbusters_?

Arthur: It´s just that saying it always cheers me up. Maybe we could all go with you, Skip, to cheer you up? If you´re going to meet them in the ballroom, we could sure fit in.

Douglas: Yes, perhaps with Gerti as well.

Martin: No, you couldn´t.

Douglas: What about a little flyover, though? I could fill the air brake cavity with rose petals…

Martin: No.

Douglas: No, you´re right. Too conventional. What about cherry blossoms?

Carolyn: Are you planning to hijack my jet again?

Douglas: Oh, come on, where´s your sense of romance?

Carolyn: Now you´re almost as bad as Herc.

Douglas: Hardly. Last time he was this smitten he was obsessively rehearsing his tap dance routine.

Carolyn: Was he really- goodness, look at the time. Drivers, your mandatory sleep period starts now.

Arthur:  (whispers) Tap dance?

Douglas: (stage whisper) On the wing of a training plane. I flew as low as I could, taking utmost care, of course-

Carolyn: Shush, Douglas.

Martin: - nonsense, that´s a Hollywood fantasy -

Douglas: - but he timed his final leap just as I wiggled the wings a bit-

Carolyn: Douglas!

Douglas: Herc´s not mad at me anymore. What´s five broken ribs between colleagues?

Carolyn: You´re making this up.

Douglas: Of course, the injuries were not my fault at all. I very gently shook him off just above the greenest valley you´ve ever seen – 10 on Martin´s scale – and bear no responsibility for the ensuing sheep stampede.

Martin: Herc was attacked by sheep?

Douglas: Not attacked. For some reason they got spooked and he was in their way.

Carolyn: Enough. One more film and then I´ll fine each of you 5 quid for every sentence uttered.

 _What´s Love Gotta Do with It_?

Arthur: _Ghostbusters_!

Douglas: _Four Weddings and a Funeral_.

Martin: _The Right Stuff_.

Carolyn: That´s the spirit, Martin. Night, children.

Douglas: Night... mum.


End file.
